Waking up is a rebirth because who you were the day before has ended.

That can be a lot of pressure when starting the day. We all have a long history of experiences waking up in the morning.

Since childhood, we may have had stressful experiences getting ready for the day. Perhaps you had heavily structured mornings where things had to be perfect which left little room for error or ease. Maybe mornings were chaotic without direction leaving you alone to muddle through. Or your mornings could have been a time where someone else or something else had to come before you meaning waking up was more about fulfilling a role or task rather than taking time for yourself to connect with your thoughts, body, and needs for the day.

An important question to ask about how to approach a morning routine is not how to optimise it, but instead: what’s my relationship to mornings?

What have mornings been like for you growing up, on weekends, during holidays, and in other people’s houses or locations?

All of these experiences have taught you lessons about what a morning routine “should” look like, rather than how a morning routine could be a supportive intentional start to the day.

So rather than researching and setting up fantasies around what your morning routine “should” be based on what you see or imagine other people do. It offers greater meaning and healing to think about:

• What have I experienced mentally, emotionally, and maybe even spiritually in my childhood, adolescent, and adult morning routines?
• What do I need for my wellbeing in the morning? 
• Are there practical things I need to prioritise for myself or others?
• Are mornings something I am active or passive in? 
• Are mornings a painful experience that I try to soothe and if so how do I soothe myself and why?

There is a lot of pressure to have a good morning routine and self-help culture can make it an assessment of how successful or together you are. It can feel like you aren’t good enough if you don’t have a highly structured and picturesque morning routine. And worryingly that can lead to feeling like a failure before the day has started.

Some of us need structured mornings and that is okay.

Some of us need flexible mornings and that is okay.

To improve the start of the day, it’s important to reflect on the past and think about how mornings can bring you ease and support rather than dread and shame.

By Simone Taylor-Lewis

• Image by Zulian Firmansyah from Unsplash 
• Image by Bailey Zindel from Unsplash 
• Image by Luke Richardson from Unsplash 
• Image by Aaron Burden from Unsplash